Kymari Williams is a writer at BHSEC, Cleveland.

 

 

Myself Mirror

 

I am 5 feet, 2 inches.

“I like how your glasses and hair

Match.”

“Thank you.”

I love the color purple.

“I like your dress, I like your shirt.”

“Thank you.”

 

I would like to know if

People see me as a jar full of delight.

“You don’t ever put your opinion in.”

I have so much to put in,

But my mouth is glued shut.

“I love my friends, they’re like

My other family.”

I see them talk and laugh

I feel alone.

It’s like I’m in

A small box that makes

Me invisible.

The loneliness fills me.

“What’s wrong, buddy?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Am I sure?

 

My skin is dark brown, this body is

Overweight.

The big “I” pops up

Out of nowhere.

I shouldn’t be left alone

Because “I” can seep in

And whisper things

To make me feel this way.

 

“What do you see?”

Wow. I didn’t know

I look this pretty.

“Ooo, I’m feeling myself.”

I am surrounded by all this.

“I’m so happy.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too!”

This warmth is so nice

I wish

To feel like this forever.

“Nope. Nah. No.”

 

I wish I could escape from this.

“I don’t want to be here.”

The tiny screen makes me escape,

But it’s only temporary.

I can’t leave, I can’t escape.

“I’m such a coward.”

I don’t want to be a coward.

“I’m weak.”

I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.

“I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“I care for you.”

“I don’t know how to respond.”

“That’s alright.”

 

I want to know, I don’t like

Not knowing.

“I want you to be happy.”

I miss you.

I haven’t left, I’m still here

And I think that’s okay with me.

“I’m still here.”

~~~

“Myself Mirror” is a conversation. It narrates me looking at the past and the present.

In the first stanza, I give you my height and my favorite color, purple. People notice this color is meaningful to me because my hair and glasses are purple. Getting compliments is really nice to me. I’m not trying to hunt for them, but randomly receiving compliments is nice.

In the second stanza, the first two lines narrate the ways I want to be seen as someone who is happy and lightens up the mood. In the next three lines, I’m quiet in serious conversations because I don’t want to get backlash for my thoughts. The rest of the stanza describes a scene with my close friends. Even though I’m with them it feels like I’m not a part of this group; it’s like I’m just there. I can try to say something, but I don’t want to ruin my friends’ conversation so I keep quiet. But one of them notices that I look sad or down, and I say that there’s nothing wrong. But in reality, I’m not sure. I’m a blank sheet.

The third stanza gives you the color of my skin and my weight. Something makes me feel bad about myself, and that something is “I.” “I” stands for insecurities, and it just pops out of nowhere, making me feel depressed about my body and looks.

In the fourth stanza, another conversation appears. This conversation is between life and me. I’m looking at the mirror, and I see myself. I realize that I look pretty, and that fact makes me happy and love life. I wish this feeling could be forever, but life says it can’t be like this forever.

In the final stanza, I want to escape from the bad things that happen in my life. The “tiny screen” is my phone. I entertain myself with videos and music. I’ve had conversations with others on this phone, and some of these quotations are messages I’ve sent to people. In the last three lines, I haven’t stopped caring, and I haven’t given up on trying. I find caring and trying to be comforts to others and to myself.